


Long Way to Happy

by vogue91



Category: Taisetsu Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Forbidden Love, Love Confessions, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 09:20:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14102316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He thought a thousand times how little he liked that formality of calling her by her family name, when he felt so close to her, and the mere thought of calling her differently made him feel as if he had torn down the last barrier between them, as if he truly was allowed to give in to his worst instinct.





	Long Way to Happy

Shuuji wished someone could’ve told him what to do.

Natsumi had already scolded him for this, and yet he still couldn’t help but feeling lost without someone guiding him toward the right path.

He was running, again.

His body knew exactly what he wanted. And his mind knew how wrong it was. Trying to reconcile such contrasting ideas risked to make him go mad, and the girl in front of him wasn’t helping at all.

“Sensei?”

Saeki hadn’t smiled to him in a few days, not in that vaguely creepy way she had done during the past few weeks.

Not since she’d been forced to tell the truth about how she had deluded herself, and on how her lie had gotten out of her hand.

Shuuji had seen her humiliated, and he couldn’t help but thinking about how much he would’ve liked to see her smiling to him sincerely for once.

“What, Saeki?” he asked, trying to feign nonchalance, pretending that her presence wasn’t unsettling him.

“Nothing, you were lost in thought and I was wondering what was going through your mind.”

She stood from the couch, getting in front of him, too damn close.

Shuuji blinked once or twice, and he was sure she had noticed perfectly how nervous he was.

“Saeki, perhaps you should go home. After all that’s happened, if someone was to see you getting out of my apartment it would me...”

“Hikari.” she interrupted him, ignoring what he had just said. “Call me Hikari, please.”

He wished she hadn’t said that.

He thought a thousand times how little he liked that formality of calling her by her family name, when he felt so close to her, and the mere thought of calling her differently made him feel as if he had torn down the last barrier between them, as if he truly was allowed to give in to his worst instinct.

“Hikari...” he whispered, reaching automatically a hand to her, without knowing why he was doing it. “I really think you should go.” he said again, not much convinced, before leaning down on her, pressing his lips on hers.

That was the moment he got lost.

He didn’t care about being a teacher anymore, he didn’t care about the thought of Natsumi, and neither the idea of how wrong what he was doing was.

Her lips were soft. It was pleasant kissing them, it was pleasant feeling her surprise to it, feeling her excitement, seeing her getting confused for once, instead of being the one to confuse.

When they split he saw her frowning, accusatory.

“Why are you doing this?” she got away, turning her back on him. “Is it because after what I’ve told you you pity me? There’s no need. I’ve made my choices, and you’re not the one who has to feel responsible for...”

Shuuji went to her back, hugging her chest and keeping her close against himself.

He closed his eyes, resting his chin on her head and trying to think quickly about the best thing to tell her.

“I’m sorry, Hikari. It wasn’t my intention to give you a false impression, I just wanted to...” he sighed.

There was nothing he could tell her that didn’t sound hypocritical.

“I’ve learnt to know you lately. I’ve learnt to understand how you are and how you reason, and now you are here, and I’m not letting you because I pity you.” he was still in time to stop. He was still in time to tell her to leave, to tell her it had all been a mistake and that... “If you’re here it’s because I love you.”

He didn’t have time to regret what he had just told her.

Hikari threw herself at him, kissing him again, searching his tongue and his mouth almost violently, as if she was expressing now all she had kept to herself during those months she had been in love with him.

Then Shuuji didn’t think any longer about it.

He took her hips, letting her go back with him to the bed, waiting for her to lay down and joining her, searching her body with his hands, feeling the desire he felt for her body growing by the moment, the desire he had to erase the signs of that other man, to tear her from the humiliation she had undergone because of him.

He freed her from her clothes, going with his lips on her neck and collarbone, down between her breasts, then to the navel, brushing it with his tongue, trying to melt her obvious tension while he kept going south.

He brushed her together with his tongue and fingers, smiling when he felt her getting aroused, pushing toward his mouth and moan out loud, biting down on her lip as to hold back.

He kept touching her, quickly, looking at her face, finding her incredibly beautiful, asking himself for what reason he had been imposed those limitation, why he couldn’t have her like this before, since it was what they both desired.

With his free hand he undid his trousers, throwing them on the floor alongside Hikari’s clothes, getting back on top of her and settling between her legs.

He caressed her forehead, kissing her once again, looking her straight in the eyes as to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind, that it was truly what she wanted.

“Hikari...” he whispered.

“It’s okay.” she reassured him. “Shuuji.” she said then, smiling embarrassed in pronouncing his name.

Then he didn’t allow himself to wait any further, and thrust inside of her.

Slowly, because he didn’t want to hurt her and he wanted to savour that moment, savour the feeling of being inside of her, to finally having given in to that temptation that had been obsessing him far too long.

He clenched his eyes, stopping when he bottomed out, trying to get used to the intense heat, to that feeling so damn different from anything he had ever had in his whole life.

When he opened them back he saw her smiling to him, so he convinced himself it was alright, and that there was nothing wrong if they were both so happy.

He thrust inside her another time, and then again and again, unable to stop, watching Hikari, careful not to miss any of the expressions on her face, finding out how much he liked to see her melt to his touch and his thrust, and how good he could read the nuances of those expressions.

When she climaxed he felt her clawing his shoulders, scratching him and finally moaning as loud as she could, and by doing so bringing him on the verge as well, until he came inside of her, suffocating a scream in the crook of her neck.

Then, Shuuji didn’t dare to open his eyes.

He let go against her, careful not to weigh on her, trying to catch his breath and at the same time to think quickly.

He didn’t want to open his eyes, looking at her and finding out he regretted what he had just done.

He had liked it, too much, and that awareness was what had always held him back.

He thought once again about that morning he had seen her for the first time, naked in his bed, and how much he had regretted not remembering anything about that night.

How disappointed he had felt finding out there had been nothing between them, to the absolutely unjustified feeling of loss, and how at the same time he had felt relieved knowing that there was still something to build between them, that could really give her something to remember, something felt, something she hadn’t just taken to lie to herself.

He found the courage to open his eyes, then.

He looked at her and she was still beautiful, and still beautiful was the thought of having finally had her, seeing her smile that way, so sincere, and knowing that is was because of him.

It was a decision he had taken on his own, and it was far better than all those he had had imposed or that he had chosen to follow during his all life.

He laid next to her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against himself, kissing her softly.

“I’m sorry.” he said, smiling when he saw hew worrying. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting this long.”

Hikari opened her eyes wide, surprised, then shook her head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I...” her eyes became moist, and she averted her gaze. “Thank you.”

Shuuji hugged her and said nothing else.

He wasn’t expecting for it to be easy, he wasn’t expecting to be understood.

But that was his decision, his choice, and he wasn’t going to let anyone meddling with them now, telling him how wrong it was.

He had chosen his mistake himself, and Hikari was the best prize he could ever receive.


End file.
